Time and People

Time flies by fast,
People change with time.
And time changes people.


Days are gone when you wake up in the morning,knock on your neighbours door just to say Good morning and probably have a refreshing breakfast with them.

Time has passed when children act as children in the house.
Now children call the shots.

Time has passed when truth and honor was the way of life. Now lies and evil makes it easier for man and his operations.

Time has pass when people loved to help,Now help is a precious rare Gem.
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Cold World 2

Too many of us who lament about this rash earth and the problem of handling resentment from those vices that are closest in downing our integrity and pushing us to earthly temptations….do you want to keep struggling to conquer the moist world?! Trust me this world is a sacred place full with evil and deception. Ά mind that thinks for you, a voice that speaks to you, a power that keeps making things better to the best is what we desire..to some power like this comes in dwelling and willingly, or through spiritual utterances.
The world is so cold to me because those in power pull down the masses with their old mental strongholds and take control of the every with their wayward thought, imagination , and impulse..we also battle against ourselves: race, religion, education and this makes us ego-driven. The only recipe for this dish or to deal with this is to warm up the world by having ά dream nobody believes in and holding onto it through the hardest times. it involves handling resentment from those closest to you and keeping a good attitude even though this world makes that quite difficult because of its coldness.
Love is another recipe to warm up , the care and good intention we have for each other can make this absolute world a better play to dwell in.
Take a moment to think about it- bob marley sang “Let’s get together to fight this Armageddon(cold world)
So when the Man comes there will be no doom
Have pity on those whose chances grow thinner.. And grow in love.
Furthermore sometimes it feels like the cold world’s on most people shoulders Everything around them closing in, it’s starts to grow colder. It’s like they’re sitting on death row and waitin’ for conclusion. Rocked real messed up, their brains filled with much confusion,due to the coldness. Some even say “I never asked to be alive,Everyday it’s just a struggle even to survive,Dear please just wipe away the tears.’ll be better off when I’m gone.
In my own private Hell and left all alone…
But that’s not the solution, like I said in the first episode, everything would work out fine You can’t just stay out on your knees the revolution is outside.
You wanna make a difference get out and go and get it!

It definitely gets BETTER•


It was midnight,the crickets were chipping,the bats were playing hide and seek with their prey,the goats in our yard who always made their unpleasant noise were deep in sleep .My parents who retired early to their cubicle they called a room because of their marital ‘rites’ were also snoring loudly,I had known what they were doing any time they went to bed early some months back,mama and papa left the door slightly open on that day and am guessing it was to much excitement,mama was making noises as if she wanted to catch a bird in the air but couldn’t,any ways,I kept the information privy to myself…..my father’s snort was the loudest,mama always teased him that he snorted like a deranged cow and it always seemed to get him annoyed even when she would reply him by saying that she was only teasing him,the way they played and showed their love always seemed to amaze me because they were a bit gone in age,but their show of affection towards each other was still very fresh and real,I always told myself that I would want to become like them someday,even better…but my own man would not be a fisherman like papa,my man would be macho,very tall and handsome who would be living in the town with many ‘big big’ cars and houses in the white man’s country,those were just my childish thoughts,youthful exuberance I would say.
        I had planned my move over and over again in my tiny little head as mama Zikere who plaits my hair every sunday in preparation for school on monday always called,she was not a fine woman per se,but she had a wonderful heart,her husband died of diabetes,it was a blow too much for her to take,I used to think she was not sane as she would sit beside the door to her house and talk to herself non-stop,sometimes for hours,there are times she would become so depressed,she would wail and then my mother would run to her and ask her why she was tormenting herself so bad,and she would ask if she also wanted to die and leave her daughter Zikere all alone in this evil world,zikere was my best friend and we always played together,we laughed,fought and gossip ed together,we were like sisters as we happened to be the only children of either of our parents,I felt bad I did not tell her about my plans because I was afraid that she would dissuade me from going on with it,I wanted a good life,despite the fact that my parents tried their best to provide all for me,it wasn’t easy because papa toiled day and night in the Great Odi River trying to catch fish so mama would set them for sale in her small stall she had in the market,she would roast some for me to eat and tell me to stay at home and play that I did not need to work because I was their jewel,it was while I was growing up that I got to know that my parents were childless for 12years before having me,they went everywhere but were told the same thing ‘the both of you r fine,don’t worry yourselves,the babies would come very soon’,fortunately,mama’s in-laws were far dead so she had no one to make life unbearable for her because of their childlessness. If they ever got to know what I had planned,it would have pained them deeply because they felt they did everything possible to make life comfortable to an extent for me,but due to the insatiable nature of man as Mr fine man who was my history teacher would say,I wanted more,I wanted to see the world,I had a certain longing for adventure and I made up my mind to go all the way and nothing,absolutely nothing was going to stop me.
          Since papa came back to the house slightly drunk,I used the opportunity of telling him to leave the door open that I would lock it after I finished with the goats,I had finished feeding them a while back but this was just a ploy to make him leave the key so I would carry on with my plan,my little strategy worked out because papa left the key and went inside to meet mama,I later got to know that it was their anniversary because I was suprised he was tipsy as he never drank,maybe papa Ebiwari who was his best friend took him to the local beer parlour near Kolokuma junction. As I opened the door,I got nervous,mainly because I did not really think deep of the step I wanted to take,I summoned courage but that squeaky sound the door makes seemed louder this time because it was deafening to my ears in this instance or so I thought,I immediately froze with the hope that the sound would not wake up my parents,it did not as I heard them snore again,I always wondered how they managed to sleep with each other snoring so loud side by side,my heart sank once more how they would feel when they woke up in the morning looking for me when I was gone,I felt bad but determined to go.I had already taken my little ‘ghana must go bag’ to a nearby bush near the express earlier in the day so I would not be noticed in the case of any ugly uprising,this was done with utmost secrecy as I was discreet about it with the plan to say I was sent to drop the bag somewhere by my mother if anyone asks me on the way so that they would not be suspicious of me. Immediately I stepped out of the house,I ran as far as my legs could carry me,anyone who saw me would have been convinced that I was been pursued by ‘nomukimi’ the mad woman or some other evil spirit,but no I was running away from poverty,from my childhood memories,from my heritage,from my identity,I was not a coward,inshort I was far from it,I had no inclining as to what I was going to meet on the outside world,I just wanted to live odi and not to be referred to as a village girl by townspeople that visited during christmas,I ran to were my bag was and when I got there,I sat down waiting for the person I would follow to the city,I knew I wouldn’t stand for long because I was fair skinned,tall and very pretty,a pick-up loaded with plaintain pulled over and I entered,I was glad for that moment that I was beautiful..no wonder my parents gave me the name EBIERE,which means the beautiful woman!.


If a small child is looking for a stick to kill a cobra, the cobra will definitely be looking for a piece of land to bury the child.

The name a man will give his child always remain in his heart.

If a house does not fall, a goat cannot climb it.

Only a bird that is prepared to dance would perch on a tiny rope.

When its good for the dustbin, its good for the fowl of the earth.

It takes more than one drunkard to urinate on a particular spot to foams.

The rabbit does not run in  daylight carelessly, except its been chased by something.

He who brings kola nut , brings life.

A bird in hand worth millions in the forest.

Clear conscience fears no acquisition.

The Den SAGA!!

“Honey, you must finish this food o” mum said to dad jokingly, I smiled and gazed at them lustfully because I was still surprised that their love still stayed with them after 26 years of marriage.
My mum was a beautiful, wonderful business woman, my dad was cute and short though. They lived happily, that was my joy as their son, the first son for that matter, I always prayed for a good family as theirs. We were four children, two boys and two girls; this just made it a perfect family.
Well let’s get down to the focal of this story, that’s me, the First Son, the Tale Teller, I’m Trevor Adabor. Describing myself I would say I’m beyond the word handsome, athletic physique, 6’1 tall, brown eyes, intelligent, I was on the fence spiritually because today I could go spiritual, tomorrow you’ll think I was the devil’s incarnate. Apparently, I was from a wealthy home, had a car of my own (one, some of my friends’ parents can’t dare to have.), had the latest gadgets of our century. I was in the football team of my university. My siblings were so proud of me; I was their role model in the making because I was excellent in everything I engaged in. I just finished my first degree from the Great University of Abuja with a First Class Degree in Mechanical Engineering. What more could a guy want?
Definitely my National Youth Service Corp.(NYSC) was next on my life agenda. I had lived in Abuja all my life, wanted to be close to my lovely family and cruise around town with freedom, so I runsed my NYSC placement to the Abuja metropolis.
I started my NYSC at the third quarter of the year 2010, made a couple of friends during the first week of camp orientation, including the good, the bad and the ugly. The guys I stayed with were boys and men at the same time; they were lively, had yarns and were very current with when it came to global and local news whether politics or entertainment related. The man part of them was that as playful as they were, as their daily theme was YOLO – You Only Live Once, they all had very credible future plans.

As there is nothing with absolute perfection, so was my beautiful life. This strange But, was the absence of a loving girlfriend to put the cherry on my cake. This happened all through my university days. Sad and strange, yeah? Well, this But led to a great mishap that was set to change the course of my destiny. As was bound to happen, I approached and was approached by a lot of ladies, ranging from the beauty without brains, to those with inner beauty to the rich-but-not-too-presentable to even the gold-diggers! I mean, what handsome, brilliant and rich dude gets rejected by a gold-digger?! I had this friend then, who wasn’t even up to my standard by any means, but he had several girlfriends who flocked around him like ant camping at a sugar site and the funny thing was most of them profess true love for him. The girls in my life were either after my money, brains or wanted my handsomeness as a trophy, always telling me about how they like me, but I was tired of the like and friendship zone. I didn’t want to spend on any girl who wasn’t in love with me and vice versa, because I was interested in love, someone to call, take out and the reciprocity would be there but I didn’t find. This was when I came to the realization that sometimes money can’t even find you love not to talk of buying it.
Some nights I would sit on my bed to think if my problem was hereditary, but my parents cleared that without a doubt, other times, I would think I was gay because the last time I had a girl friend that loved me, was way back in Primary Four Class! Imagine! Fine boy like me o. But even my dead body can’t be caught pants down with another dude; I love girls to say the least. My love for them was like the 5&6 relationship, if only they were the right ones. I couldn’t figure what was missing, but the absence of this special person in my life made me focus properly on my education.

I became so bothered I had to open up to one of my pals in camp Prince was what he was called. After telling him my disheartening story, all he could do was burst out with laughter, if he wasn’t supposed to be my solution provider, I probably would have beaten him… I mean, I was discussing a serious matter of life and death and he felt I was telling a joke! Kmft! After turning my ordeal into a “Crack Ur Rib” session, he asked ‘why are you worried? Must you have a girlfriend?!’ he continued ‘why don’t you have a fuck buddy or buddies?’ I replied I don’t want that, I want love, he sighed and said “ok I’ll arrange love for you if that’s what you want … what are friends for?” he said. I was relieved because I trusted his parole and I know what his capabilities are, when it came to women matters. “You the boss” I said, has he left the room.

On a Wednesday evening I received a phone call and the person said ” hello love” I dropped my phone, checked the number properly, was trembling in fear. I haven’t heard that in a while, I continued the call, the lady said my friend Prince gave her my Phone Number, Blackberry Pin and bla, bla, bla.. It was a cool conversation and before i dropped the call, she promised coming to visit me one of these days. The next week she came visiting, we’ve talked over the phone quite a number of times and we were getting to know each other much better; thank God for blackberry. When I eventually saw her in person, she was dope, my kind of lady, tall and elegant with hi-tech fashion sense, quite different from her display pictures on Blackberry Messenger. I stood with my pupils turning into love symbol like that of Tom’s or like Cupid just had a 100% target at my heart. It’s quite funny, right? The problem here was that she was 17 years older than me; she was a cougar looking like a Sweet Sixteen. At first, I wasn’t bothered because I saw her as a good friend and someone to talk to. We went out on various occasions, talked about her previous marriage, presently she’s divorced, we flowed and gisted about a lot of random stuffs. With the way things went smoothly between us, she was ready to sacrifice her time for us despite her busy business schedule. And then, she said it, “I like you” and I was like “OMG! Not this like-zone again!” Surprisingly, I was okay with it. As time went by, our friendship became stronger, I was falling for her, I couldn’t believe myself, I could tell she was in love with me too, She calls me, texts and a lot more, she even got me all sorts on my birthday. Well this was what I was looking for, Love, Affection and Commitment. We were so deep into each other, I could proudly say I knew I was in love, in love with someone old enough to be my aunt, I still didn’t care. I doubt if I could thank Prince well enough, but I knew I owe it to him, for such a great favour. However, this arrangement had to be kept between the both of us, to prevent unnecessary rumours and side talks coupled with friends that might want to go all SU on me. So anytime I was asked who she was, I just say she’s my mummy’s sister and we were running a business package together because she was seen too often with me, I must say.

I and my Sugar-Aunt kept in touch with each other no matter the distance, we displayed our love particularly on BBM. In spite of our outings, we never had sex and never spent the night at each other’s place. To me, it was a good start for us, especially for a platonic relationship like ours. I was so overwhelmed by the love I had for her, that my every thought was clouded by her. I had her on my I-pad as my wallpaper and trust me; I was beginning to lust for her. This was about the fourth month of my service NYSC.

On Fridays, after work, we go clubbing, so we decided to go clubbing as was on our schedule for this particular Friday. Our club for that night was club DEN.
I never knew what this woman was into; I wasn’t concerned that I knew nothing about the sort of business my lover was into, in fact I cared less! All I knew was that she was a well-to-do business woman who lived comfortably and had almost everything at her disposal. Anyways, that was by the way.
So we got to the club, had a few drinks and did lots of dancing, she was a great dancer. She gave me this piercing look that was not hard to notice even though my vision was getting blurry due to too much alcohol in the system, the look was directly into my eyes, like she wanted more of me! There and then, I knew tonight was the NIGHT! We had fun to the fullest, from the twisting and whining. To the caressing and smooching… couldn’t help it. Would say I had loads of fun with her. It was almost certain I was going to pass the night at her crib. I was beginning to dance in a funny manner then she planted a kiss on my lips and said ‘you awesome’, I blushed and said ‘thank you’…

It was 3:00am on Saturday morning, we weren’t tired but we just thought to call it a night (it was the earliest we left a club since we started dating) and headed to her very expensive-looking bungalow. As we drove back to her place, all I could think of was the stunning sex I was going to have, thoughts of different sexual positions I was dying to practice with her were all in my head, I wasn’t a virgin, but it’s been ages! We got home before I could think of the third position, we started undressing ourselves while kissing until we got to the bedroom and then we had highly intensified rounds of Sex! We were like two passionate horses trying to out-do the other. Suddenly her phone rang; she got up quickly like she was expecting the call, went to her bag, answered the call and went to the bathroom. I lay on the bed naked and smiled like a Boss, I had that Jokers kind of smile on, robbing my palms together, waiting for her to be done so we could continue our game, as there was no winner yet. She took longer than expected in the bathroom for a midnight call, I mean, who calls an old woman for that long at this time… except she was a Call Lady, no, I thought to myself, doubt that, she couldn’t be and brushed that off my mind. Out of boredom, I got up to take my phone to check my messages, when I overheard the most shocking four-word phrase of my life… “I CAN’T KILL HIM” she said, “I’ve fallen deeply in love with this one and I won’t sabotage this” she continued… I thought I was dreaming… then she slightly screamed “NO!”, there and then I started thinking normally again, was still listening to the conversation, she continued “if anything happens to him I will deal with you”, which meant, if she doesn’t kill me some else would probably kill me… “OMG!!” I started sweating, regretting and shivering…
Immediately, without thinking whether or not I would be noticed, I started wearing my clothes to take off. As I went out, I eavesdropped one last time, and I heard her say “I’ll look for another guy I’ll make love to, for the rituals…” *Jeeezzz!!* Now, it dawned on me that I was in a big mess; I quietly picked my remaining stuffs, switched off my phone and zoomed out of the house without hesitation. Luckily for me, I parked my car outside her compound so she wouldn’t notice the car’s noise as I left…

As I drove to my house, not my apartment this time but to my family house, it was already morning 6:15am, thank God I runsed my NYSC, if I were to be in another state there would have being no Safe House to run to. In my deep thoughts, I asked myself “did my friend Prince know about this?”, “what was I thinking When I started this?”, “was I jazzed?”, “could she really be in love with me?”. Something within me answered “hell no! I was stupid and impatient!”. Another part of me asked, “who knows what she would possibly do to my manhood now that we had sex!?” I became more scared and burst into tears because I really felt empty; like an important part of me had left. As I got home, everyone was surprised and happy to see me again as it had been long I came here though I was to come see them in two weeks time. As I entered the house, I made a fake smile on my face and said I needed to see My Mama urgently…

In tears, I told Mummy privately because I could confide in her, in shock she burst in tears too and said a few words of prayer for me and we planned my travel to the City of Lagos, and from Lagos to the States to get myself back, put things in order and stay away from my sugar mum to avoid death threats and all the associated scary situations that might follow suit. Mummy had to tell My Dad about it after I had gone because it would have been hell for me, but she couldn’t tell my younger ones because it would break their hearts that I disappointed them. I got rid of that SIM, the phone, changed contact details and blocked her from all my social sites.
Started all over, kept thinking with regret as I couldn’t even finish my NYSC program or get the certificate. I pity my mother because I made her cry and think too much at her old age…You know how mothers get all emotional and soft. I don’t blame her; I’m guilty with my stupid, lustful and irresponsible act. Alas, I had wasted a year in my not-too-long life.
Presently, I’m in the states still trying to figure things out. I curse the night I went to Club Den that has kept my life in a Den of Mystery… with the regret of having an affair with an ostensible cougar! What if she knew my where about, what if she could control me from the reflection of a black water pot mixed with her menstrual blood and my sperm??

Are you living your truth?

The People Skills Blog

In keeping to our theme on truth this week:


Frederick W. Robertson said this about truth,


“It is not the number of books you read, nor the variety of sermons you hear, nor the amount of religious conversation in which you mix, but it is the frequency and earnestness with which you meditate on these things till the truth in them becomes your own and part of your being, that ensures your growth.”


This really hit me because I read books in massive numbers, and listen to a variety of sermons and philosophies and I have deep conversations, yet am I the best I can be?


The instruction here is not about all that I’m doing – it’s about how I am using.


Am I mediating on all of these things in a way that will help me?


Yesterday I attended a funeral for…

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Quote of the day


Deep understanding of politics from the author of The Chronicles of Narnia:

Of all tyrannies, a tyranny exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It may be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron‘s cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end, for they do so with the approval of their consciences.
C. S. Lewis

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